11:12 p.m. - 2003-01-27
*Sighs*...I dunno anymore
I just finished the book GingerBread. I thought it was really boring at first cause it was for younger teens(14 n up), but to my surprise it was actually kinda good. It's about a trouble teen that was pregnant and had and abortion. Her mother couldn't stay her anymore so she sent her to New York to meet her biological father. She sends two weeks there and figures a lot about her past! I promise that the book is more interesting that it sounds. Read it on amazon if you like.
As I was reading along, lots of painfully memories came to seep back. For moments I thought about him...him as in two guys, Chris and James. I miss both of them. I talked to Chris mom the other day, she said that he seems confused. I don't intend to jump into conclusions,but maybe he's thinking about breaking up with me. I know that some girl that likes Chris too and actually join the Navy to find him. It'll crush me if he dump me for her cause I like Chris for such a long time and I'd feel like the biggest idiot after I e-mail him how my feelings for him are growing more and more.
As for James, I don't know what brought it up. I was thinking about this day(click here) It brought me to tears. I couldn't help myself. I thought I'd buried forever, never to remember it again! But I guess not, something trigger it and brought it back to my attention.
I never really regret that James and I broke up, cause maybe it was for the better or I don't regret that we ever went out...well sometimes. It's just that I regret the day our happy relationship fell to pieces. Corruption of sex and drugs led to harsh words,sad moments. Sometimes I think I'll never forgive myself for turning a good thing sour. Sometimes I think James will never either.
