12:58 p.m. - 2002-11-29
Sometimes...just sometimes
Right now I'm full of despite and excitement.
I'm upset with my ex and my boyfriend right now. James is just...I dunno. Seems like I'm always annoyed with him.
As for Chris, it's been 3 weeks since he last e-mailed me. I know long distance relationships take patientance, but I've e-mail him 3 times since his only e-mail. I miss him and it sucks how I often think about him and what lies ahead of our relationship. I wish I knew what's goin on his mind and in his heart. I wonder if he's thinking of me and how I'm doing and what's going on with me. I long to hold him right now. I have hopes for us, but they aren't too high nor do I have doubts about us. This relationship, this time I want it to be...stable. It's not like I plan marriage ahead, but it's nice to just go steady. Lovey dovey is cool at times, but best not to have a high ego about it. I want things to work out. Sometimes...just sometimes, I think, maybe he could be the one for me. But I thought the same way with James. If God permits it, then yes, I pray for Chris and in hopes he's doing well. I know people are probably thinking...you go to church?!? Yup!
Tomorrow is my cousin Gus's wedding. Many of my relatives are getting married. I want my sister Janice to get a man so she could get hitch!
I'm still excited about going to college. I plan to take the SAT in March. I hope I can still move to Orlando and get out of hell hole Jacksonville. Supposively, it's not too bad here. I've lived here for 13-14 years. I think I'm ready to move on and out! Kathy(the girl I'm moving in with) is here for my cousin's wedding. She said if I move there in August she could give me a ride to school, or I could ride the bus.
Anywho, I went to the mall a few days ago with Mea. Took plenty of applications for jobs. We watched Harry Potter! Love it! It was great spending time with Mea. I'm trying my best as possible to hang out with all my friends every opportunity that I have.
I changed my layout for my poetry. Go take a look!!!
