11:31 p.m. - 2002-09-17
I'm just blah...Fuck!
So much envy and anguish within me right now that I blame myself. James came by with my cd and unfortunately that stupid bitch Chelsea was there. I was so upset cause James knows I don't like her. It's not the fact that she's his ex, but the fact she's hurt him and I don't appreciate to see him in pain. Sad, I know that he's been basically used me as a floormat to wipe the shit from the bottom of his shoes on, and I still care for him. When I saw Chelsea,she was driving James car, she just look at me and gave me a smart lil smirk on her face. Grr! She made me wanna open the door,pull her by her hair and drag her out and smash her face into the pavement. I ended up being all sad and full of regret that we had sex Friday andhe hasn't spoken to me all weekend cause he turned around and talk to Chelsea again.
Jared's friendship seems to decieve me. Jared was my best guy friend and now he doesn't seem to give either. Like I asked if he wanted to hang out today, but he said no cause he didn't want to hang out. Then I see him with Chelsea and James.
I talked to Megan for some cheerfulness. Turns out, she was crying over her ex too. Made me more sad, but she still gave me advice and that made me happy to talk to her.
I feel so desprite and lonely. I have a handful of friends that love me...I just wish I had all my old friends again. I wish the past came back and I was carefree.
I hung out with Kuya Frankie and Orlando tonight. Saw kuya's new kitty! It's sooo cute, cuter than Pixie. We ate at Steak n Shake telling them my boy problems. Funny how that happens, I talk to boys about my boy problems. Yeah.
Today i actually wore a short dress to school. No many people seem to notice, but the people that were surprise to see my legs. At least I thought I looked cute. LOL.
*Sighs*...it's true.
the hardest thing is to see the one you love, love someone else.
damn...my heart breaks all over again...stupid boys...stupid me...
