11:23 p.m. - 2002-07-12
Miserable and pathetic
Yesterday I just heard James has a new g/f. I was crush to hear about it! Just...I was in shock! I mean he's already has someone and I don't. At first I envied him cause he has someone and he moved on! Here I am pathetic lookin, waddling in my own pity. It's pathetic!Then afterwards of all that crying, I've realized that he's happy and that's all that should matter. But the next day(today) IT WAS HORRIBLE! I still had the thought of James having a new g/f. I went to the hospital to get blood drawen. I guess the thought still didn't click in my head. Then I went to the mall to try to clear my head and things gotten worse! Everyone was telling about her. She was a major drug addict like James and she's a slut. It drove me depress the thought that he's kissing another,fucking her, and falling in love with her and I can't do anything about it. The pains keeps striking me a millions of times. I saw some of his old best friends and they told me things about how he use to obsesse over me before we ewnt out and I gushed out everything what I felt about James. But he has someone now and I have to do my best to move on.
Although, I do have a lil crush on a guy I talk to occasionally. But I doubt he feels the same way.
